There is only a mere gap of about 2-3 years in between each child, but each experience was unique in it's own way. And with each child I learned and evolved.
Baby#1: I was the idealistic mom, who thought if she devoted each and every living cell to the care of her child she would do a perfect job! She would prove to be the best at motherhood ever!
I was over efficient, totally committed and so patient nothing could frazzle me. I gave in to all my lil' one's whims. I filled his toy box and his wardrobe to the brim and beyond. I was going to love each and every moment of it and make it worth throwing my career away for!
The fact that baby #1 was a healthy happy and very easy child made it all the more plausible that this was going to be perfection to a tee! He was a hearty eater, easy burper, and sound sleeper! The perfect lil' angel every mother wants! I could stick to a schedule, I could plan ahead with him. ! I was in baby heaven and the envy of other moms. I decided having a baby wasn't so hard after all!
Baby#2: About 2 1/2 years later came baby #2. Now this baby was another story, yes he was healthy and happy but not easy! This baby wanted only breast milk, this baby was often colicky and this baby was the lightest sleeper ever (we had to tiptoe in the room if he was sleeping, couldn't even whisper without waking him up!). on top of that he had super strong lungs so he cried and screamed like there was no tomorrow! ( many times I was told I had a tenor on my hands in elevators by polite strangers) He also was a clinger, I couldn't go to the bathroom when alone with him or he would scream and cry till I came out! He also didn't like the nanny ( same nanny that had taken care of big brother who loved her to bits!) he didn't like crowds, all he wanted was to be in mommy's lap all the time. My concept of babies being simple and easy to take care of was totally shattered!! Being a mother was far more difficult with two children! I was constantly torn between sharing a story with my toddler to putting the baby to bed and shooing the toddler away! But what could one do!
As a result of the new dynamics I learned to feed a baby while keeping the toddler interested in his food too! Learned to cuddle a baby and a toddler at the same time without territorial issues arising!
Also learned to maneuver a double stroller with two supersized little ones in it!! ( got myself some noteworthy muscular arms in the process). Became an expert at packing a combination baby/toddler bag all the time. Always remembered to buckle up two superactive kids in their car seats and provide each with appropriate entertainment to last the drive. And so on.... until I thought I had it all under control once again!
Baby#3: So three years later came baby #3! But to start with, this one came 1 month early!! I wasn't prepared for the every 2 hours feeding! I don't think I slept much the first two months after his birth! But I did have the good sense to get myself a new nanny, who charmed the older two right away and made it possible for me to cope with the lil' one. With her help I got to enjoy some me time, I also got to have fun with the boys without being overwhelmed by all their needs!
But this time, while dealing with Baby #3 I found myself calmer, more realistic and more patient. When he spilled juice allover the floor, I didn't scream and run to clean it at super sonic speed. When he stumbled I picked him up and brushed the dirt off without freaking out about injuries. When he threw tantrums I didn't lose it along with him! And when I was tired, I didn't push myself further to the breaking point, I took a breather and relaxed a little before getting back to the daily rut! So I got smarter and I got wiser!!
Sometimes when I smile at my youngest son's rebellion I remember how I took it personally when my eldest had his moments of toddler rebellion.
Maybe I was too tough on my eldest because I was trying to stick to a plan and thought that it was the only way. I tried to continue it with my second child but he very early on taught me how each child is so very different in his or her own way. And thus with my youngest son I am less stressed about sticking to the plan and more focused on keeping it simple, realistic and fun. Hence I have evolved and continue to do so as baby
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