No more New Year Resolutions for me!!

Every year end everyone I meet starts asking me about my New Year Resolutions!!! What the hell are new year resolutions? Why do I need them at the end of a year I just wasted trying to stick to last year's resolutions? In the past, every new year as instructed by the media and world, I would promise myself huge changes in my life, a new career, a new slim body to go with it, a new attitude towards everyone with no more trying to be Miss Nice incarnate! Resolve to conquer every fear and just go for whatever I want to do in life, not care what others think, not allow anyone to dissuade me from my goals. I would Nike style 'Just Do It'!

Well after all those crazy resolutions, I am still not into a career I love actually I am not into any career at all, I am still just there to take care of my family with not much gratefulness or appreciation, I am still putting my needs at the bottom of every 'to do' list and still never get to them in the end, I am still trying to go back to my pre-kids slim tight body and am far from it. I am still taking shit from my family and burying it and moving on not matter how they are weighing me down.... Basically I have achieved nothing with these flimsy dreamy wishful resolutions!!!!

Why I didn't succeed?
Firstly, I put so much thought into it only made me aware of all the roadblocks I'd have to overcome to get to my goal, of all the issues that might come up with changing dynamic at home and of all the difficulties that might pop up in my kids daily routine when I wouldn't be there 24/7 ensuring their smooth sailing. All those 'what ifs' and 'Hows' just stopped me in my tracks.
On rare occasions I did overcome those fears, but then I made another fatal mistake. I got excited and all psyched to the point of announcing it to my mom and siblings and sometimes a friend or two. Now  talking about it has never borne any fruit for me, the pressure that comes with expectations of the informed individuals just leads me to freeze. I couldn't do anything without wondering what would they say or think of it, I would worry if my idea of achievement was worth something to them? I would obsess over whether they'd be disappointed behind my back because I fell short of their hopes for me. And on and on and on...... All these questions that grow in my head only take away any fun or joy in doing it. Hence I don't do it and give up!

In fact, the only times I have done anything concrete over the past decade it is when I didn't plan it long and hard, I just did it!

So this December when a friend suggested making new year resolutions together, I just plain refused. No more resolutions for me, I just am not going to add another disappointment to my list of 'Not Done Yet'(NDY) and my list of 'Will Never Get Done'(WNGD). No I am not going to make up resolutions just to stick with the crowd, I am going to live life , one day at a time, just go with the flow. Do whatever inspires me whenever it inspires me. I will do it quietly and persevere because that is the only way I can actually get anything done. And no more announcing my big idea, they will find out when they will find out, no need to expedite it.

So Happy New Year to you all, but don't you dare ask me what I'll be doing this year, I am not saying! :)

Thank you Zach Sobiech!

As 2013 comes to a close, every television channel is coming up with all kinds of lists of the best, the worst, the coolest, the most impressive, etc... Of all the lists I have so far seen, Zach Sobiech from Minnesota stood out as the most inspiring.
Zach Sobiech was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at age 14 in 2009. Osteosarcoma is an aggressive form of bone cancer that affects mostly children. As he went through a long series of surgeries and several rounds of chemotherapy, Zach chose to deal with this stressful period by writing songs, singing and making a band 'A Firm Handshake' with friends.
In May 2012, Zach's osteosarcoma was found to have spread further and doctors informed him and his family that he had just about an year to live. It is during that time he wrote this beautiful song called 'Clouds'. With the help of their local radio station KS95 Zach was able to record the song and make a video of it, which was put on Youtube in December 2012. The sincere poignancy of the lyrics and the sweet catchy tune of the song very quickly captured the hearts of so many viewers that the video had more then 3 million views when Zach passed away on May 20th 2013, two weeks after his eighteenth birthday.
In his short yet purposeful life, not only Zach showed patience, strength and optimism, but he also dedicated efforts to set up 'The Zach Sobiech Osteosarcoma Fund at Children’s Cancer Research Fund. He had proceeds from his music and fundraisers in his honor to the fund, so that other children may have a better fighting chance against osteosarcoma.
Here is his song 'Clouds'



In the end, I would like to thank Zach for reminding all of us how foolish it is to let petty little problems in our daily life bring us down when there so much to bring us up up up!
Rest In Peace dear Zach Sobiech.

P.S:
Zach Sobiech Osteosarcoma Fun ( Children's Research Fund)
My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech (Youtube)
Osteosarcoma(NIH)
Transcript: Zach Sobiech on CNN's 'Extraordinary People'
 

We must break free from Black Friday!!

So every year millions of Americans celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. Although the roots of Thanksgiving can be traced to religious and cultural traditions, in the United States it has taken the form of a secular celebration of family, friends, abundance of food, health and good fortune. Most people travel across the country to get together with family and friends and get a chance to create rich memories together. They enjoy a nice long weekend together and cherish the opportunity to leave their daily rut behind and just relax together with loved ones. It is a chance to stop and smell the roses and be grateful for all that is good in life.

But slowly yet surely corporate America has hijacked this beautiful and graceful holiday and converted it into a weekend of shopping frenzy and madness. The media bombards the public with promises of unearthly deals never to be seen again,  unbelievable prizes to early shoppers, the more you spend the more you save and so on.... The pressure of shopping on Black Friday is so intense that even children have started to believe that shopping on Friday is part and parcel of the Thanksgiving Holiday. Thus like zombies with no thought process of their own, majority of Americans rush through their Thanksgiving feast and head out to line up outside stores of choice. They forget that eating together as a big family and enjoying the food and real family time was the initial purpose of Thanksgiving! That purpose has been lost, now the purpose as dictated by corporate America's supercharged marketing and advertising is shopping for things you don't really need and spending money you don't really have!

It is a sad state of affairs, considering the fact that millions of Americans are still reeling from the recent economic depression, many have no jobs yet, many are in debt up to their necks yet they will go to the mall and spend and spend and spend, all the while thinking they are saving!! But saving what? If you spend $30 and save $10 on it, you still paid the $20 which you didn't really need to. It is scary to see how bad most Americans are at seeing the real truth. We do not have to buy something just so we can say we have it, we should buy what we really are in need of to sustain a healthy and safe life, everything else is luxury.

But I guess children born in the once land of plenty wouldn't know that , would they? Unfortunately no one has told them and nor have they realized it for themselves that the US is no longer the land of plenty in the real sense. It is time to educate the American public to make money wise decision and not allow big corporations  and designer labels tell them what they need to buy or own, instead it is time for them to make their own decision and take control of their financial mess.

P.S: I wrote this post after reading news about the violence seen this Black Friday and also reading an article on BBC World "The Dark Side of Black Friday". Here are links to both;

Black Friday shopping in US marred by violence
The dark side of Black Friday

Lady Gaga's Dilemma....

We all know that shocking the US television audience is the way to notoriety and fame. There was a time when pure musical talent and skill got you rich and famous but that doesn't work as well anymore. The more risqué and inappropriate according to norm the more likely it will get you the attention and boost your career needs, specially if you are lacking in real talent! 

In the 1980s Madonna understood that, she broke all rules of public decency and propriety with 'Like a virgin', she pushed limits of acceptable display of sexuality and nudity to kickstart her career, everytime she felt ignored she went one step further towards obscenity and got success and fame as a result. 

Her legacy has been kept alive by various desperate starlets over the years like Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, Rihanna to name a few. They used the same tactics and it worked for most of them. All they needed was to put on a shocking sexually charged performance and their faces hit the front pages. Many more tried the same tricks, some were successful while others failed miserably, remember Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction for example.

Then in 2008 came Lady Gaga, she took Madonna's shock system to a whole new level! She decided to hide her face behind ghastly masks while showing pretty much every thing else at first. So it was sexuality presented with a touch of intrigue, leading to her fast climb to fame and fortune. She regularly put on extravagant and disturbingly weird performances on all award shows, keeping her audience hooked. She reinforced the drama by wearing the strangest and skimpiest outfits whenever and wherever possible. It was working superbly for her. She was probably planning to ride that wave for while. She seemed to know exactly how to gradually push the envelope on propriety and yet get away with it, she was in control.

But suddenly Miley Cyrus happened. Yes the same young country singer pushed to the forefront of teen music with a nice big nudge from dad Billy Ray Cyrus. Unfortunately it appears that nudge was way too much for her to handle, leading to the total disintegration of the teen darling and her transformation into the sex crazed industry rebel. Starting off at the MTV music awards 2013 gyrating with tacky old Robin Thicke on the stage and sticking out her disturbingly long tongue made her the 'twerking' sensation of the world! If anyone thought that was it, they were in for a huge surprise, yes I am talking about the video to her new single 'Wrecking ball'. After seeing her swinging buck naked on a wrecking ball, there is little left to imagination.

That is where I see Lady Gaga facing a huge dilemma, what to do next? Once all of the clothes have come off, what is left to show or shock the world?

No wonder actual artists like Annie Lennox have spoken up and called these acts pornographic. 

Here is an excerpt of her post on her Facebook page "I have to say that I'm disturbed and dismayed by the recent spate of overtly sexualised performances and videos," she wrote. "You know the ones I'm talking about. It seems obvious that certain record companies are peddling highly styled pornography with musical accompaniment …

"It's depressing to see how these performers are so eager to push this new level of low. Their assumption seems to be that misogyny – utilised and displayed through oneself – is totally fine, as long as you are the one creating it. As if it's all justified by how many millions of dollars and YouTube hits you get from behaving like pimp and prostitute at the same time. It's a glorified and monetised form of self harm."

So far Lady Gaga is dabbling in different cheap versions of her trashy and obscene performances to date, and it might be it unless of course the FCC decides to just drop the laws on Obscene, Indecent and Profane Broadcasts, which are pretty much ignored anyway. 

P.S: I was going to post pics to go along with the post, but decided against it. Just didn't feel right. 

Annie Lennox condemns 'pornographic' music videos ( Full Article)
FCC Federal Communication Commission (Laws on Obscene, Indecent and Profane Broadcasts)

Any moral compass for Facebook in this case?

The recent string of headlines, about Facebook and its wavering decision on allowing graphic beheading videos, have been somewhat perturbing. My question : Is there any moral compass influencing these flip flop decisions?

I am starting to think 'No this has nothing to do with moral values and everything to do with Facebook's business savvy and their fear of losing customers'. Here are some of those confusing headlines, now you can decide for yourself.

Facebook U-turn after charities criticise decapitation videos   (BBC World-May 1, 2013)

Facebook has said it will delete videos of people being decapitated which had been spread on its site.

"We will remove instances of these videos that are reported to us while we evaluate our policy and approach to this type of content," it said. (Full story)
Outrage erupts over Facebook's decision on graphic videos  (CNN Money-October 23, 2013)
Facebook has stirred up a storm with a controversial decision to lift a ban on violent videos, including beheadings. A temporary ban on graphic content was imposed in May following complaints about videos which depicted people being decapitated. Facebook removed the reported videos and said it was reviewing its policy on this type of graphic content. Now the company has relaxed its stance. It will allow violent content such as beheadings to be published, provided the intent is to raise awareness rather than celebrate violence. (Full Story)
Facebook removes beheading video, updates violent images standards (NBC News-Oct. 23,2013)

Facebook Inc removed a video of a woman being beheaded from its website on Tuesday and said it would use a broader set of criteria to determine when gory videos are permitted on the site. The move came a day after a public outcry over news reports that Facebook, the world's No. 1 social network with 1.15 billion members, had lifted a temporary ban on images of graphic violence. (Full Story)

Facebook defends allowing beheadings footage to continue (BBC World-November 19, 2013)

Facebook will continue to allow users to show footage of beheadings as long as it is posted in "the right context", MPs have heard. The social network site has been criticised for allowing such images to be shown, amid warnings they could cause psychological damage. Facebook's UK and Ireland policy director Simon Milner said the footage could expose human rights abuses. There would also be "more prior warnings" on content, he added. But the Incorporated Society of British Advertisers (ISBA) accused Facebook of lacking a sense of "responsibility". The US-based company introduced a temporary ban on decapitation clips in May, but announced last month that it believed users should be free to watch them. (Full Story)

What do you think now?

George Leigh Mallory - An extraordinary man!

Like most of us, I had only heard of Sir Edmund Hillary, as the first man to reach the summit of Mount Everest 29,100 feet (8,848 metres). It was only after reading "Paths of Glory" a book by Jeffrey Archer based on the life of George Leigh Mallory did I find out about the real hero of Everest and thought I'd share his story with all my friends.
George Leigh Mallory born 18 June 1886 in Cheshire, England, was a man of unparalleled skills at mountain climbing. He had conquered all the highest peaks in Europe by 1913. He then had his sights on Mount Everest, his reason for wanting to climb Everest ""Because it's there".
In the words of one of his climbing partners "In watching George at work one was conscious not so much of physical strength as of suppleness and balance; so rhythmical and harmonious was his progress in any steep place ... that his movements appeared almost serpentine in their smoothness."
George Mallory led the first three British expeditions to Mount Everest.
On the first expedition in 1921, , Mallory became the first human recorded to have set foot on the actual mountain by climbing up to the saddle of the North Ridge(the North Col, 23,000-ft, 7000m).
On the second expedition in 1922,Mallory almost reached the crest of the North-East ridge with his climbing partners Howard Somervell and Edward Norton. Inspite of the thin air at that altitude, they achieved a record altitude of 26,985 ft (8,225 m) before weather conditions and the late hour forced them to retreat. Although that height was surpassed by George Finch who with Mallory led a second attempt up to, but he used bottled oxygen, which was highly criticized & discarded by all as an unacceptable aid.
On the third expedition in 1924, he led another attempt to reach the top of the world with Andrew Irvine, a fine athletic young man just 22 yrs old. Mallory himself was 37.They used oxygen, Mallory having given up his original scepticism by his failure on the initial assault and the very rapid ascent speed of Finch in 1922. The last time they were seen was by a member of his climbing team Noel Odell. His testimony:

"At 12.50, just after I had emerged from a state of jubilation at finding the first definite fossils on Everest, there was a sudden clearing of the atmosphere, and the entire summit ridge and final peak of Everest were unveiled. My eyes became fixed on one tiny black spot silhouetted on a small snow-crest beneath a rock-step in the ridge; the black spot moved. Another black spot became apparent and moved up the snow to join the other on the crest. The first then approached the great rock-step and shortly emerged at the top; the second did likewise. Then the whole fascinating vision vanished, enveloped in cloud once more."

The two never returned. Whether they ever reached the summit has been subject to constant speculation. After multiple failed search expeditions for the next 75 years , the body of George Leigh Mallory was found at 26,760 feet (8,160 m) on the north face of the mountain in 1999. The body of Andrew Irvine has yet to be found.

Mount Everest was finally conquered (complete ascent and descent)by Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay ( a sherpa) in 1953 some 20 yrs later.

But what makes George Mallory and his team mates extraordinary men is the fact that they achieved such heights as 27,000 ft, without any of the professional gear(including oxygen) used by later expeditions. What they had was their sheer skill, endurance and perseverance.

In 1995, Mallory's grandson also named George Mallory reached the summit of Everest with six other climbers as part of the American Everest Expedition. He left a picture of his grandparents at the summit citing 'Unfinished business'.

Why I stand by my ban on toy guns, violent games and violent movies in my house!

I know some people including my own brother think that I have it wrong, exposure to guns specially toy guns doesn't make a child less sensitive to gun violence. Playing violent video games such as Grand Theft Auto and Call of Duty doesn't necessarily make you a violent person. 
But every time I see headlines like the following, the more strongly I feel about the affect of unnecessary exposure to violence and the more aware I become of the dangers of making children think that a gun could be a toy or killing and shooting at people could be a game.

3 Students Shot Near Brashear High School In Pittsburgh ( Nov 13,2013 Huff Post) 

Police: 20 children among 26 victims of Connecticut school shooting ( Dec. 15, 2012 CNN US)

At least 12 dead, 59 injured in Colorado theater shooting during 'Dark Knight Rises' (July 20,2012 Fox News)

US police name suspect in Oakland college shooting (April 3, 2012 BBC)

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords shot in Tucson rampage; federal judge killed ( Jan 8, 2011 Washington Post)

Worst U.S shooting ever kills 33 on VA campus ( April 16, 2007 NBC News)

Man Shoots 11, Killing 5 Girls, in Amish School (Oct 3, 2006  NY Times) 

 And these are just a few of the mass shooting incidents that have occurred since the April 1999 Columbine shooting. There are more than 28 such shootings on record, and disturbingly enough victims include young children. 

Another way that today's children are over exposed to violence is through movies. A recent study published in the scientific journal Pediatrics after researches analyzed the 30 top-grossing films every year from 1950 to 2012, concluded that the gun violence in PG-13 movies has tripled over time. The overall violence has doubled.

I do realize that taking toy gun, graphic violent games and movies away will not guarantee a decrease in violence but I do think it might help prevent our future generations from becoming totally immune and acclimatized to violence and killing in general. 




More on the American Academy of Pediatrics study 

Film gun violence has tripled since 1985 - study (Read full story)

Gun violence in PG-13 movies has tripled  (Read full story)